True Love

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A rich but senile old hunks named Joshua Jones, aged 70, wanted to marry Miss Malie Stokes, aged 18, of Boone county, Ky. Malie wouldn’t say yes to him. The rustic belle scorned his suit, whereupon he spread slanders about her.  Miss Malie went for him bald-headed with a suit for $10,000 damages. 

Two days after he met Malie’s sister Annie, only a year younger 

‘You’re not the girl to say no, are you, Annie?’

“Indeed I’m not’ said she.  ‘Try me.’

He tried her, she said yes, jumped into his buggy and they were married out of hand.

This caused a great sensation.  The lawsuit was withdrawn and Annie’s folks also withdrew their friendship from her and to add to the muddle of her life was made miserable by the old beau she married.  He was very jealous of her and used to set her up against the wall and fire a revolver as close to her head as possible to make her promise not to run away.

Two months ago he died, and last week Annie was married to a man named Williams.  She is worth $50,000 of the old man’s money and isn’t going to spend a cent to put a monument over his grave, nor is she going to take any trouble to see that his grave is kept green.

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The National Police Gazette, April 1, 1882